obsessed

 My dog Sunny is obsessed with playing ball. I have one of those Chuck It thingies that I use to toss a ball, but we don't play all the time (like, all winter!) There's one park we go to lots and now are part of the Puppy Patrol text thread - probably like 6 or 8 dogs and their parents who coordinate playdates.

When we are being social, I don't get the ball out, because once that comes out, she will just obsess over it and ignore all the playtime she could have.

So when another dog is playing ball, it's especially problematic. If Sunny gets the other dogs' ball, I may as well just forget it. She loves the game of me chasing her all over (and never being able to catch her).

So as soon as another ball comes out, I have to catch her and put her on a 10 foot leash. She's pretty smart and she knows she has no choice but to listen when she's on lock down!

it was 2020

 Two years ago, this past Friday, the world shut down.

A few days ago, I was walking back to my office to pop on zoom to do some collaboration with the other middle school teachers thinking it was so convenient that we now use Zoom as just another tool, and then I wondered, "How did we teach for so long from home on Zoom? Like, howwww?"

I went home from school that weekend in 2020 with all my devices thinking we would be out for two weeks and then our spring break.

I remember hypothesizing with friends, "Well, we are gonna miss St. Paddy's day, but hopefully we'll still have Easter."

Then it was hoping for our end-of-year rituals with the eighth grade.

Then fourth of July.

Why did we think it would end so quickly?

This weekend, the one of 2022, I was at Chicago's South Side Irish Parade and sang Friends in Low Places at the top of my lungs in a bar. It was nice to do those things again. But I know this covid lull won't last forever. Just praying we never go back to the worst of times from 2020 or 2021.

on daylight savings time

 A six word memoir:

Waiting on longer days and sun.

friends like this

I have the kind of colleagues who...

Stop by my office to ask advice.

Pickup lunch from me this week and bring me lunch next.

Are as obsessed with reading, writing, and pacing guides as I am.

Text me over the weekend and then email me on Monday to check in.

Say, "Awh, I want to coteach with you, too!"

Make an effort to help me be a better version of myself, by talking to me when I mess up.

Write me thank you cards.

Apologize when they make a mistake, no matter how much time has passed.

Make Tik Toks with me on our personal plan periods.

Trust me with new ideas. And their secrets.

Rally with thoughtful gestures when life gets tough.

Write Slice of Life blogs with me for a whole month straight.

Show up at my door when they need to cry.

Let me vent when needed, and keep all my secrets.

Tell me no when they see reasons why something won't work.

Clap for me when I do something they appreciate.

Take my phone from my desk (when I'm in the bathroom) and take 8 selfies.

Could you at least do 9 next time to be symmetrical? :-)

I have the kind of colleagues who

are also called friends.

sweet spot

Sunny is my first small dog. Growing up, we always had labs and retrievers, which I love, but just me in a small apartment - that wouldn't work. Sunny is 15 pounds - she's not tiny, but she's no big dog by any means.

Sunny and I live alone so she pretty much gets everything she wants, including sleeping with me. She doesn't take up much space so it works for now. My favorite is falling asleep with her in the little spot she always goes to.

I'm typically laying on my left side, kinda fetal position but not quite, pillow under my head and one just in front of me. She'll come in and get right in the little nook, laying her head over my side body.

We don't stay like this all night but I usually fall asleep this way. When I wake up she's  elsewhere, but still close by.

Anyone else with small dogs? Same for you? Maybe I'm the weird one.

letters

 Dear AC,

I've been holding you close in my prayers the past few weeks. Wearing the yellow ribbon as a visual reminder day-to-day. I didn't know Emily was your big sister, and I'm so glad I was able to send you a message on Facetime on Friday when Mrs. Hauer called. I feel a small amount of comfort knowing you are no longer in pain and are free to be a kid in a better place. I will keep praying for you, your family, and our community as a whole, and I'm here to listen to anyone who wants to tell me all the stories I didn't know about you. Thank you for inspiring us with your strength, smile, and bravery.

Love, Ms. Brezek

Dear Jay,

It's been about four months since I've heard the news and I still think of you often. Your sisters sent a thank you card for coming to your services and it was like a gentle hug via snail mail that I'm so thankful for. I wish I could have known them when we were dating. I sent back a card with some pictures I found of us, you smiling, the day we danced in my kitchen, and us at Six Flags with Caitlyn. And another, but it's slipping my mind now. I also found some missed voicemails that I didn't notice at the time in my mailbox, so idk. It's been a (strange?) comfort to still be able to hear your voice. I am consoled knowing that you are no longer in pain and I hope doing all the things that brought you joy. Know that you are loved and missed by so many, myself included.

Love, Michelle

Dear Rob,

It's a snowy day in Chicago, two days after a 60 degree Saturday and I'm sitting on the couch watching the snow fall, and thinking about all our times in the pool during Arizona summers (and falls and springs). You having a Miller Lite (had a few recently, refreshing!) and come chips and guac, the dogs swimming, waiting for Caitlyn to wake up from her nap and swim the day away with us.

It's been about seven months since we lost you and I just have so many emotions. Like, I don't know if they're okay to say, but they must be because how can something I'm feeling be wrong? I'm devastated that we lost you. I'm mad you didn't get a vaccine that could have likely saved your life. My heart breaks that mom is without you, after she poured all her love and energy into you since 1989. I'm comforted in all the memories I have but also feel the loss of all the things that were to come, that will now look different without you.

I watch for you in all the places I might find you: a cardinal in the trees, any references to Star Trek or that dancing movie you loved, a dude on a Honda motorcycle, airplanes, men with too much cologne (lol I haven't experienced yet, but your cologne habits make me laugh.) I hope you know how thankful I am to have had you in my life all these years, and I hope to make you proud as time goes on.

Hope you and your brother are staying out of trouble in heaven, but if you're finding it and happy, that's cool too. It makes me happy to know that you are there with him even though we are here without you.

I love you, Michelle

many ways to build collective efficacy

 New teachers need mentors;

we show up.

Friday treats in the lounge each week;

we show up.

Warm fuzzies on Valentine's Day;

we show up.

To lead staff development and pick the best practices;

we show up.

When there are birthdays, engagements, and new babies;

we show up.

To have fun with one another, day-to-day;

we show up.

To all the documents that archive our work and help us improve instruction year to year;

we show up.

When someone just needs a hug or to cry or vent;

we show up.

When someone becomes unwell;

we show up.

When there is loss and grief;

we show up.

In love and support for Ukraine;

we show up.

You want a nana?

I am a creature of habit. Every morning for breakfast I have a protein shake and for the last six months it has been chai banana. Just a half of banana but every day, I always call out to Sunny since she is usually in the other room, "Sunny, you want a nana?" She comes running over and then as long as it's a thin slice, she's happy to enjoy this little treat. 

These rituals I find in every day small moments, even with my dog, make me so happy.

clever kids

 I teach in a middle school and my favorite of the three grades is eighth. But, no matter if it is sixth, seventh, or eighth, there are a few things that us middle school teachers say, on repeat, year after year.

Today, a friend and I were standing in the hall during passing period and I had called out to a group of boys about 20 feet away, "Hey, stop touching each other!"

After I said that, Rachel turned to me and asked, "There are just some things we never stop saying, aren't there," as two kids ran by and I called, "Walk, please!"

I looked back and we both laughed, adding that to the list.

Just then, a student from the first group of boys walked up, and said, "Hey, but I had consent."

Rachel and I looked at him, a little confused, and asked, "You had consent?"

This kid, we'll call him JT, replied, "Yeah, you said stop touching each other. I had consent. That's important, and I had it," he deadpanned.

Rachel I just burst into laughter. This kid is so clever and totally can deliver the jokes - we've both taught him and we have this kind of relationship - and it was just the funniest response I've ever heard to the stop-touching-each-other feedback.

Another day in middle school :-)

Oh, she'll let you know

I've had a hectic schedule the past two days, and my dog, and consequently, myself, are feeling the effects. My pup Sunny is a Micro Mini Golden Doodle and she's almost two, so she's got a ton of energy. In Chicago, it's been cold still, and the last two days I've had meetings after school, putting me home later than expected. What this means for Sunny is that she got quick walks from the downstairs neighbors and then a tired mama at home who tries to give her attention but is often lacking the energy to do so.

But Sunny is speaking to me.

Specifically, at midnight.

When she woke me up last night.

Trying to play with me.

In bed.

So today we will be going to the park and meeting her bff Zion for at least an hour of running. Hopefully more, depending on sunset. Will be our first time at our fave park since last fall... send good vibes that the sun stays out on a warm Chicago day!

Sunny is the black one :-)

What, no meat rose?

 Yesterday, I had an awesome lunch. I was thinking that it wouldn't be filling, but I had a leadership meeting after school and no problem, I was good to go until I got home for dinner. Here's what it consisted of:

There were cherry tomatoes with a balsamic glaze, ritz crackers, hard salami, and this fresh mozzarella that was marinating in olive oil with a bunch of spices. (All this from Trader Joe's!) Only thing missing was some bread, but my stepmom and I had finished it all the night before.

Because it was so good, I posted the above pic in my Instagram stories (naturally). My sister, who had visited me in December thinks she's soooo clever with her reply that I didn't have a meat rose.

Are you familiar with this? I tried over Christmas to make one but I didn't not do enough research and it didn't turn out so well.

Pro tip: buy your meats for this project at the deli as regular cold cut size, the little ones just didn't do it.

But Emily, your joke, 10/10.

I could cry

Thinking back to losing my stepdad to covid last August,

I could cry.

Remembering how Andrea hugged me every day for three months after, 

I could cry.

Getting the news that I had some complex oral surgery to schedule,

I could cry.

Having friends and my stepmonster give up their time to take me to said appointments,

I could cry.

Hearing that one of my exes who I cared for immensely passed away,

I could cry.

Thinking of how I showed up to say a goodbye and encountered great people and a few beautiful friends,

I could cry.

Knowing that so many of my friends are struggling with complex life situations,

I could cry.

Seeing how we all come together to support one another when needed at school,

I could cry.

Wondering about how one of our students is doing health-wise,

I could cry

Watching my colleagues encompass the block around our school and his home in yellow ribbons,

I could cry.

Reflecting on all this with my principal a few days ago....

We did.

 

May we be changed

Over the past week, I've been collecting pictures from social media that have...struck me. Wanted to save them all somewhere, and share them out as well. So here you go :-)

Let's start with our medical staff, a huge thank you to each and every one of you.

And then, moving on to the power of what can all do, individually:

Being sure to mind our minds:

And also be mindful of only taking what we need...

We should look to our leaders for love and support:

And, we can be thankful for unintended consequences. We are healing the Earth!

My gut is telling me it's going to take awhile to move beyond this, but we will, and we will then rejoice in getting back to our daily rituals. But, may we be changed. May we take greater care of the Earth, and vote for leaders who will prioritize climate change. May we slow down. May we be more compassionate. May we be more forgiving and may we follow our instincts of love more often that not.

Check out my former years slicing here. Find me on Instagram here. And twitter, here.

Imagine

When this all ends, imagine:
The hugs!
The smiles!
The joyful reunions at actual (and not virtual) happy hours!
We'll shake hands without a second thought. And,
if we cough into the air, or sneeze on accident, it won't be so bad. And
the beaches will be open again, and
I won't have to store groceries on my counter for lack of space.
I'll travel to see my family, no questions asked, no worries to be had.
That my dating life will resume, in all it's splendor. (ha!)
I'll dance in class and do yoga in a room heated to 105 degrees.
No one in my life will be worried about this. No one will lose sleep over this.
I'll see my students every day again, and
look in their eyes, and
tell them face-to-face that they matter.
I'll see my colleagues again, and
our complaints about the daily grind will subside, because
we'll feel so lucky to be back.
Back to routine, and
the smiles, and
the hugs.

Check out my former years slicing here. Find me on Instagram here. And twitter, here.

The cough heard around the world

For Lent, I gave up meat, so I've been on a heavy salad rotation. Every week, I get enough produce and prep 5 salads at a time, and then have them for lunch each day. Yesterday I had my last one, and knew I had to run out to the grocery store, but thought best to wait until first thing in the morning. I was hoping for less people and more inventory.

My grocery store in on the north side of Chicago; we are land locked. The parking, where I usually park, is upstairs. Then, I get some extra steps in and take the huge staircase down to the main floor, which is where everything is.

As I was walking down the stairs, I was struck by how empty it is. Typically, on that upstairs level, there are a few people sitting at cafe tables and chairs - the grocery store workers, sometimes people who are learning about how to work for Instacart, sometimes just guests of the store. But today? Today all the chairs were stacked and tables, too, and there was plastic over them as not to be used.

Making my way down the stairs, in the barren desert that is Mariano's, I coughed. And I forgot all social cues, because I didn't even cough into my elbow.

At the bottom of the stairs, on a register right there, the woman turned around, with her hand covering a tissue that was covering her mouth, and just looked at me like, "Have you lost your damn mind?" Uggghhh. Unlike the schools, grocery stores won't close, and she has to be there to serve others. I felt terrible.

I was embarrassed, but even more so, feeling responsible for not doing my part to protect those in my community, sending germs out of my mouth and into the empty air all around me. 

In many ways I feel that I have been pretty responsible during these times. I have stayed home, except for the grocery store. I've been diligent about hand washing before and after coming in and out of my house. I have been connecting with my students on flip grid, and modeling calm, rather than panic, during these uncertain times. I've made a schedule for myself and have been exercising to keep my mental and emotional health strong, so I can be a model of that for others.

But that cough. That cough was a reminder again that we can always do more. You guys - it's not about us individually. It's not about me and my needs, but doing the things we can to protect those around us.

Hope everyone is staying home, unless a run out is absolutely necessary. Sending wishes of peace of mind, and good health your way, today, and every day.

Check out my former years slicing here. Find me on Instagram here. And twitter, here.

Today I learned...

1. Do the things you least want to do first thing. For me, that's exercise. Today I woke up and did yoga first thing, and it made all the difference.

2. If it's sunny and relatively nice out, get outside. Went for a long walk under the sun with a friend and it's something great to look forward to!

3. Avocado toast pairs well with red wine. (For dinner) : P

4. Get good sleep, always, but seems even more important now. Total darkness, on consistent sleep/wake schedule, and don't brag that, "I function well on three hours of sleep" since you'll be on teh verge of being unwell with that going on. Dr. Tanda Cook, the Naturopathic doctor I was listening to said that sleep is the one thing that can help all the other areas of health concerns improve. And it's free!

5. People are so good. This lovely friend who I know only briefly through my Arbonne tribe texted me, just to check in on me and it just really made me appreciate the goodness in people. (Thank you, Yamiek!) Then I forwarded that love on to a few other people to let them know I was thinking about them.

Check out my former years slicing here. Find me on Instagram here. And twitter, here.

I'll be the judge

If you were one of those 100s of people on a beach in Florida today,
I'm judging you.

If you are in quarantine at your house and posting funny cat videos
I'm judging you

If you are repeatedly out "running errands" 
I'm judging you.

If you are working out on facetime with me
I'm judging you

If you are hand-shaking people or standing too close
I'm judging you.

If you create a schedule for yourself so you can set more purpose to your day
I'm judging you
(katie, I'm making myself one!)

If you are complaining that you can't go to the gym/restaurant/library
I'm judging you

If you're binging a show on Netflix or reading a great book at home
I'm judging you

If you are checking in on Facebook from your flight to spring break
I'm judging you 

If you are some of my movement people (dancers, yogis) and you're posting workouts online
I'm judging you

If you think what's going on / is coming is a bunch of malarky
I'm judging you

If you're postponing things you want to do and making sacrifices to protect those at risk
I'm judging you 💗

Check out my former years slicing here. Find me on Instagram here. And twitter, here.

10 minutes and everything changes

Prior to 4pm, I had be writing....

I'm not stressed. Or annoyed.

Coronavirus is here, and yet, I know I'd much rather be on my regular routine, complaining about meal-prepping and all the adulting I have to do on my limited weekends, and then heading back to school on Monday like nothing was wrong.

Tuesday was supposed to be our half day for PD because in Illinois  it's a voting day. We were out at noon, and then we had tentatively planned to go get a green beer in honor of St. Patty's day.

But none of that is happening.

Today I watched mass on LiveStream, instead of seated in church.

Today I went for a walk and hardly saw anyone. (Also locked myself out, thankful for my best friend who saved the day!)

Tomorrow I'll go in to work for four hours help teachers get some options set up for e-learning, and then I'll be back at home.

There will be no green beer on Tuesday.

Probably won't see many of my friends face-to-face for the next two weeks.

But I'm not feeling angry or annoyed or stressed. Maybe we should look at this as a time to slow down. Maybe there are some ways in which we can heal with this abundance of time. Now we are blessed with time for other priorities, that book we've been meaning to read, that closet we've been meaning to clean. Maybe we need to make that call to a loved one, or send that text. Or write a letter. Remember snail mail?!

Some things just won't happen this year, and that's okay. But big picture? Our health is our greatest wealth, and even if I'm not a part of the demographic that is most at risk, I will stay inside and away from others because we are actually far more connected than it may feel today and for the next two weeks.
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Around 4:30 pm, our governor closed all restaurants and bars effective tomorrow and my mom called worried and sh*t got real. But for now, I must rest, so more on that, tomorrow.

Check out my former years slicing here. Find me on Instagram here. And twitter, here.

Social Distancing Day 1

DID NOT make my bed

DID go to the bank, then came right back home

DID wonder how St. Patty's day went on this alternate Chicago St. Patty's day

DID watch *alot of Scandal on Netflix

DID NOT get in trouble from other people on the Netflix account

DID start diffusing Tea Tree oil (it's an antiviral!)

DID drink a little wine

DID a deep conditioning on my hair

DID clean up (just a little bit)

DID feel mostly pretty lazy

DID buy concert tickets (Maren Morris!)

DID enjoy staying home

DID cancel my Vegas trip

DID remember to slice right as I was about to go to sleep.

DID show up, anyways.

Check out my former years slicing here. Find me on Instagram here. And twitter, here.

Some feelings

AWED at the work of our district leadership in this challenging time.

THANKFUL that our governor made the call to close Illinois schools.

OPTIMISTIC that it was the right choice that will keep us healthy and safe.

DISAPPOINTED my Vegas trip in April has been cancelled, but also

RELIEVED that I didn't have to make that decision.

APPRECIATIVE to all the amazing teachers sharing brilliant resources!

ANNOYED that I have to wait on teaching the Argument unit I've been revising.

CONFUSED about the toilet paper situation. (??)

AMUSED that the extroverts out there will now live an introvert's best day!

WORRIED that even the introvert in me will be bored sooner than later.

HOPEFUL I'll make a serious dent in my to-be-read list.

SURPRISED that I forgot to slice until 8:30pm, but

RELIEVED I remembered and showed up;

GRATEFUL for this writing community, and can't wait to be

UPLIFTED by the stories I'm bound to read next.

Check out my former years slicing here. Find me on Instagram here. And twitter, here.