Habits Die Hard

Today is day 6 of my challenge and already I've noticed how my relationship with food has/is changing.

In the past, I would eat when I wasn't hungry, just because whatever was in front of me tasted good. Usually said item was processed, full of sugar, or just generally unhealthy. I'd eat it, and still, I'd get hungry at the usual times, because what I chose to eat was no where on the nutritional soundboard. Just amazing flavors that last five seconds and empty calories after that.

I've noticed yesterday and today that I long to be full and not feel hungry, because I have no desire to eat. Did you hear what I just said? Yes, you read it right...I have NO desire to eat. Over the course of yesterday and today, even when I have been hungry, I've put off making food and eating as long as possible because I don't want to prepare anything, and also, I'm kind of bored with my options and recipes I have discovered so far. (Did I mention that this is a lot of work?) That being said, I am going to Florida tomorrow to see my family and I didn't want to have a bunch of wasted food in the house or get into a big involved new-recipe project. I'd love it if when I feel hungry, I can whip something up really quick and then just move on.

All of this came to be realized during the meltdown I was having over the course of last night and this morning. In addition to that lesson, I have also learned that I am in every sense of the meaning an  emotional eater. I always knew I was, but last night when I couldn't sleep and was hungry, all I wanted to do was throw the frozen pizza I have in the oven, eat it, and then finish it off with those thin mints. You know, get myself in a good food coma and I'd pass out like that. <insert snap> I can't even begin to count the times I have felt bad for whatever reason and done something like this - which is why I feel and look the way I do. I never paid attention to food - just ate whatever was in front of me.

I knew though, last night, that if I did that, it would make me feel better only for the amount of time I was eating, and that afterward, I would feel worse. Physically, I'm sure it would upset my stomach (I haven't had any stomach issues since I was hungover last Sunday!) and emotionally, I would have felt like a failure, and still be dealing with the original problem that was unrelated to the food.

So, you'd be happy to know that what I did instead was made a smoothie (OJ, banana, and strawberries), took a bath, drank some hot tea, and read a book. Finally, I was sleeping. Bliss.

There is no way that you can change your relationship with food in a few days, or a week, or anything less than a month. I still have a ways to go on this journey, but not giving in last night, when it was so easy to do so, and then waking up this morning and going for a run first thing made me feel so good and so accomplished.

I leave you with this quote:
Healthy habits are learned in the same ways as unhealthy ones, through practice.

That being said, I'm going to continue to work on killing the sugar addiction. Also, I am going to try liking scrambled eggs with yokes, rather than the egg whites I usually eat....