Don't Think. Just. Keep. Going.

So I'm at my mom's and it's morning and she's making breakfast for my stepdad, Rob. She's making blueberry waffles. I really, really want some. Like, lots. I can smell them, they're right there...fresh blueberries swimming in a thick batter. (Let's get real - my mom was making Eggos!) Lucky for me, my mom won't let me ruin my 9 days that I've finished so far, and honestly, waffles or not, I don't want to ruin it either. So I tell myself in my head, "Michelle, the waffles will be gone in 5 minutes. You will be ahead when the waffles are gone. You don't need them." (Same thought, different day. I have this conversation every day with myself.)

Fast forward a few hours to shopping, and I can only imagine how much MORE fun (I love shopping regardless) this will be when I have finished this 30 day...but not only that but put in place some great habits to keep me moving forward even after. Even though I have already mentioned some food items that I definitely want to bring back, I will also be wise enough to let my body tell me when I should cool it on the not-so-healthy food.

btw - I ended up walking through the food court at the mall. There I was, trying to find a bathroom, and being assaulted by all the food. (Make this the second assault today, after the waffles.) I could smell orange chicken cooking at Panda Express and pizza at Sbarro. I could smell fries turning a golden brown in the fryalators at McDonalds. The sugar wafting from Mrs. Fields was calling my name. As I walked through there I was just considering that maybe I could hang around and indulge in all the fantastic smelling food (to clarify: just smell it all. not eat.) and then be good to go. Turns out that doesn't work. At all.


So I bought myself a dress instead : ) : ) : ) : ) : )

20 days to go. I have definitely been craving things today - chocolate and even something munchy, but I didn't budge. One of the only differences I've noticed so far is that I'm eating WAAAAY less than I used to. Today, I had 3 egg whites, bacon, and pineapple for breakfast, a Larabar, and then a salad and some pot roast my mom made for dinner. That's all....except a fruit rope and some OJ just a little bit ago. (I know, I'm eating too much fruit.) I'm not hungry at all, but I guess I just need to break all those old habits I used to have. I don't need to be eating all the time. I need to get busy! (Interpret as you wish.)

In an effort to give myself something in the way of my chocolate cravings, I'm planning on making this tomorrow (minus the chocolate chips, of course):

Paleo Mug-Cake

One last (random) thought --
Today I got a manicure and pedicure and had a white girl as my manicurist. Hello! My new bff would totally be the girl who did my nails if I had a white girl doing them all the time. We talked about drama with her best friend, how her boyfriend should be proposing soon and ideas for her wedding, the Hunger Games and Twilight...the list goes on and on. So. Much. Fun. Much different than this (although she's pretty funny) --->

So lesson to be learned - if you're having a hard time with this challenge, just go do something instead. Go running. Go shopping. Go lay out by the pool or beach. Get a manicure. Call a friend. Trick your mind to forget about the food you're not eating. Practice making good habits.

More to come on the mind games. I'm reading up on it!

Upgrade!

Since I began this journey, I have been forced to come to appreciate (even like!) new foods. Here are a few of the things I've tried within the past few days that I'm loving!

First is Justin's Almond Butter. I tried it and liked it right away, but had my mom try it and she was not so fond. Perhaps it's because I haven't had any super-ultra-flavor-enhanced food in a week (I'm on day 8 already!!) but it's good. I got it at Whole Foods. Pretty expensive...$9.99, but it's okay while I'm on the challenge. I don't think I will convert to it after the challenge is over, but for now, good stuff.

 

Next up is the Larabar. I had apple and cherry pie flavors first and LOVED them. These bars are all natural - the cherry pie one has three ingredients: dates, almonds, and unsweetened cherries. I bought a few the first time that had stuff I can't eat - like peanuts and chocolate chips, but I'll just save them until the challenge is over. I have lots of flavors to try still: Key Lime Pie, Cappucchino, Tropical Fruit Tart, and Blueberry Muffin.

You can get them at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. They are also pretty expensive - up to $1.69 for one at Whole Foods, but they were a little cheaper at Trader Joe's.

And then there are some classic standbys that I had for lunch today - turkey burger, with veggies and mustard on top and asparagus (brushed with olive oil and sprinkled with garlic) that I grilled.

So there's lots of options of things to eat. When I go out to eat, I tend to get fish, because I haven't really bought and prepared that here yet. I had some blackened Mahi-Mahi and veggies last night when I met up with my sister in Charlotte. The cook actually prepared a whole fresh batch of veggies for me, since they usually just use butter (which I told the waiter I couldn't have). They were really accommodating!

All that being said, there are a few things I miss...like Diet Arizona Green Tea (flavored with honey, which I can't have), tortilla chips (not corn compliant), cereal and milk...which I know can be lots of carbs, but I think I'm going to go all Kashi after, and I've already switched to Almond Breeze Almond Milk a long time ago. Oh, and more variety of salad dressing. It gets kind of boring when I have two choices - oil and vinegar or this sugar free one by Bolthouse Farms (also found at Whole Foods).

So that's what I've been working on to upgrade myself today. (Also went running!) What have you all done? Please share any ideas that could be Whole 30 compliant!

Habits Die Hard

Today is day 6 of my challenge and already I've noticed how my relationship with food has/is changing.

In the past, I would eat when I wasn't hungry, just because whatever was in front of me tasted good. Usually said item was processed, full of sugar, or just generally unhealthy. I'd eat it, and still, I'd get hungry at the usual times, because what I chose to eat was no where on the nutritional soundboard. Just amazing flavors that last five seconds and empty calories after that.

I've noticed yesterday and today that I long to be full and not feel hungry, because I have no desire to eat. Did you hear what I just said? Yes, you read it right...I have NO desire to eat. Over the course of yesterday and today, even when I have been hungry, I've put off making food and eating as long as possible because I don't want to prepare anything, and also, I'm kind of bored with my options and recipes I have discovered so far. (Did I mention that this is a lot of work?) That being said, I am going to Florida tomorrow to see my family and I didn't want to have a bunch of wasted food in the house or get into a big involved new-recipe project. I'd love it if when I feel hungry, I can whip something up really quick and then just move on.

All of this came to be realized during the meltdown I was having over the course of last night and this morning. In addition to that lesson, I have also learned that I am in every sense of the meaning an  emotional eater. I always knew I was, but last night when I couldn't sleep and was hungry, all I wanted to do was throw the frozen pizza I have in the oven, eat it, and then finish it off with those thin mints. You know, get myself in a good food coma and I'd pass out like that. <insert snap> I can't even begin to count the times I have felt bad for whatever reason and done something like this - which is why I feel and look the way I do. I never paid attention to food - just ate whatever was in front of me.

I knew though, last night, that if I did that, it would make me feel better only for the amount of time I was eating, and that afterward, I would feel worse. Physically, I'm sure it would upset my stomach (I haven't had any stomach issues since I was hungover last Sunday!) and emotionally, I would have felt like a failure, and still be dealing with the original problem that was unrelated to the food.

So, you'd be happy to know that what I did instead was made a smoothie (OJ, banana, and strawberries), took a bath, drank some hot tea, and read a book. Finally, I was sleeping. Bliss.

There is no way that you can change your relationship with food in a few days, or a week, or anything less than a month. I still have a ways to go on this journey, but not giving in last night, when it was so easy to do so, and then waking up this morning and going for a run first thing made me feel so good and so accomplished.

I leave you with this quote:
Healthy habits are learned in the same ways as unhealthy ones, through practice.

That being said, I'm going to continue to work on killing the sugar addiction. Also, I am going to try liking scrambled eggs with yokes, rather than the egg whites I usually eat....

Thank You!

Don't get the wrong idea about this challenge - it's so hard. The hardest part is overcoming the emotional attachment I have to food.

• Oh, it's Tuesday night, we always have wine on Tuesday night!
• I should go with my team to breakfast in the lounge on Friday to be with them, and eat. (Lots of stuff I can't have.)
• I always eat something sweet at night.
• My kids at work are so annoying! I bet I'd feel better if I had a ____.

Letting go of those routines is super hard. And to all of you who have been nothing but amazing, thank you.

• Thanks to everyone who eats with me who doesn't tempt/taunt me with food. Believe me, the conversations in my head that are going on watching you eat all the stuff I gave up are insane!
• Thanks to everyone who comments on my blogs or just gives it a thumbs up - you have no idea how motivating it is. Your comments and conversations with me make me want to continue.
• Thank you to mom, who has already asked me what she should have for me in the house when I get there on Sunday night! Also mom, you should know that I'm excited that you said we could try new things. I want to make a spaghetti squash!
• Thank you to my friends at work who let me know when there is fresh fruit in the lounge (basically the only thing brought to staff breakfast I can eat in there during this challenge). It means a lot that you're watching out for me!
• Thank you to everyone who is open to learning about this and following my progress.
• Thank you especially to Katie and LeeAnn who answer my questions and keep me going every day. I couldn't do this without either of you!

I think this blog is really what is holding me the most accountable. I don't want to screw this up and have to report it to all of you, so thanks for reading! And....looking through pinterest each night for clipart and quotes to put on my blogs reminds me why I'm doing this. Anyone who is considering doing something like this - I highly recommend writing about it and sharing with your network. It will keep you accountable.

Aside from the emotional attachments I'm working through, the only other thing today that was annoying was that I'm tired. Tuesday too. Both days I came home from work and laid down for an hour or an hour and a half. I am not sure if it's because my body is in withdrawal from all the processed food and sugar I used to eat or what's going on.

I'm definitely not hungry. In fact, I think it's pretty amazing how much less I'm eating and how much I'm not hungry. Take today for example - I ate some egg whites with veggies and two pieces of bacon for breakfast, a banana around 10, some steak, sauteed veggies, and a half of an orange for lunch, then a fruit leather around 3, and then I ate dinner - same as lunch, but with guacamole. I haven't been hungry all day, but I'm definitely tired. Perhaps this is the night I'll sleep all the way through!

So there you have it. A day in the life of a Whole 30 Challenge. Anyone out there thinking about trying it out?!

Sweet Alternatives

Aside from a 2:50 lockdown at school (that lasted until 4:15) I had a pretty good day. Big success: hung out with Dad and Annie and they had my favorite pizza ever - Aurelios. I didn't even consider partaking in it. I was good to go!

I think I'm mostly going to get sick of salads. Tomorrow I'm making some fajitas before school (I prepped everything tonight so I can just grill it up and throw it in a tupperware...) but I need a change of pace! Lesson learned: This is a lot of work when you've got to go to work!


Now, back to the topic at hand...
I had head about Paleo Ice Cream - I only had a frozen banana, a raw banana, and unsweetened cocoa powder, but I blended it up and it's pretty good! It definitely tasted like some chocolate candy bar - and it was all natural, so that's cool to know that there are options. I know that once I get a few more ingredients - coconut milk and some almond butter (?) or some other kind of nut butter (which is best?), I'm sure it will be better.


Not going to lie - mine looked like some brown goo, but it tastes good! I put way too much cocoa powder in it. Plus when it melts it gets this slightly wierd consistency, but it serves it's purpose for the sweet tooth! This guy will explain how to make it if you're interested!

Last thoughts - I'm waiting for my sleep to improve, which is something my friends said would happen by eating on this challenge. I always wake up in the night and now, when it's nighttime and no  one is around, and everyone is sleeping, the little people in my head (LPIMH) go something like this: "Oh, Michelle....no one will know if you ate a Thin Mint! Or a granola bar! Just do it. No. Must. Not. Fail. Don't quit! Get some water and get your @$$ back to bed before you screw it all up!" Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the nights when I sleep all the way through....


Going to sleep satisfied tonight...

Whole 31.5 Day Challenge?

You can find them at Costco.
Whole 30 compliant!

There I was today, around 11am during our Institute Day munching on some roasted almonds. LeeAnn had texted me about an amazing new apple sauce she found, so I thought I would just ask her if the almonds were okay to be eating. Her reply, "Nope, sorry."

Not only was I bummed, I also felt majorly disappointed because I thought I would have to start over, making this a 31.5 day challenge. I'm down for 30 days, and I know I will form some new habits, but I definitely can't live without cupcakes and tortillas forever. Luckily she laughed and said it was okay. I gave the almonds to Julia and we were good to go. (I really did like those almonds, too.)

Lots of headaches today. Is this because my body is processing out all the bad food I ate over the past two weeks? Even Jon noticed I seemed bummed. I feel like a pain doing this challenge around work friends, especially when we have to pick a place to go out. The original idea was a pizza place, but everyone was down for my suggestion: Buona Beef. I thought I would be a little better off going there.

I was a little worried about going out to lunch, but I got a naked sandwich - just the beef and there was some Italian Sausage in there too. What's the word on that? I had a side of fruit and more water. I haven't had anything but water in two days! (But I do have some lemon flavored seltzer water with lemon slices at night...you need to try and mix it up a little!) On the way out, there was a little display and I actually checked the ingredients of their beef - no sugar, and everything that was okay! I also skipped everything from Baskin Robbins which we stopped at on the way back to school. To some maybe this isn't any big deal, but I have such a sweet tooth!

The bf came and we went and did a couch to 5K run (I finally finished week 4's run: run 3 minutes, walk 1.5 min, run 5 minutes, walk 2.5 minutes, then repeat). I'm so proud of myself! I think it is so true that running with someone will totally help you - I just kept thinking that my legs didn't hurt as much as last time....and I didn't want him to be disappointed in me. I barely finished, but finished. I plan on repeating these week 4 runs again next week. Not sure I could move to a harder run when I can't even finish the one I'm on and feel good about it.

We came home and relaxed a little and then he wanted to go out to eat. By the time we left (to walk to dinner....it's beautiful here!) it was probably 7:30. I still wasn't even hungry at all! We went to Avenue Ale House down the street and I had a turkey burger with some veggies on top and a salad. I actually didn't even finish it all...didn't need to because I wasn't that hungry anymore. I did have a pickle. Not sure if that is cool or not.

7A Teachers : )
Michelle, Jon, Charlie, Julia, and me

Such a great day today (minus the headaches). I am feeling pretty good about all of this and I know I can make it though the whole challenge. Sorry to work friends or anyone who I hang out with if it's annoying, but I really appreciate your patience.

Looking forward to a great day 3!

Hi, my name is Michelle, and I'm a sugar addict.

Serious addiction.


There I was sitting at lunch eating a chicken salad with salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing (flavored with pineapple juice - no extra sugar) and I was looking at Jon's peanut butter and fantasizing about it. wth is wrong with me? It's just peanut butter!


Like I said. Addiction. 


This is really just going to be such a mind game. People want what they can't have, and since I can't have that peanut butter, or his apple butter, or the sourdough bread on my other colleague's panini, that's all I can think about. But, because I have willpower, I will abstain from sugary confections that will mess up my system.


I left work and had to stop at a friend's house to pick up......wait for it......my girl scout cookies I ordered in January. I'm not sure how we lost so much track of time, but it just figures that the day I start this Whole 30 Challenge is the day of cookie launch. Oh well. They're in the freezer....when I get through all of this, I will have some Thin Mint Truffles for all of you for supporting me. I know, it's kind of like giving the kid who doesn't do his homework a free homework pass, but that was the plans for those cookies long before I ever thought about doing this. So please, take some off my hands.


I stopped and got a ton of produce and some meat on my way home at Tony's. As I was walking around that grocery store, all I could think was, "Wow, there are 26 aisles full of food that I can't eat." Perhaps this is what's wrong with our society and the obesity epidemic. EVERYTHING is processed!


I came home and I was in the kitchen for like an hour and a half. I thought that I could just make myself a batch of sweet potato fries, and since that was a monster sweet potato, I'd be good to go, but about halfway through I couldn't stomach any more. They were really good, but I ended up making a turkey burger, too. No ketchup. I put guacamole on it. I'm actually a super picky eater (well, some people think so) so I am actually surprised that I did that! Since I can't have tortilla chips, I had to put it on something!


At the end of day one, the only thing I really wish I could have are those tortilla chips. What's the status on those...can't have them because they're corn? I think after 30 days that would be one thing that would be added back to my day-to-day eating. Well, not going to eat them every day, but I don't want to never eat them.


I am now full and have no desire to eat anything actually. So one day down. 29 to go. Tomorrow I have to survive going out to lunch on our institute day. Team says we're going to Bacci's - pizza slices that are as big as your head. Not sure what kind of salads they can whip up, but I'm in it to win it.

One last success - I drank a whole 64 ounces of water today at school. I never drink water! I put some lemon slices in it, so I think that helped a little. I'm so proud of myself just for that feat! Tomorrow it's going to be limes or oranges....the jury is still out on that decision at this point : )

Why Whole 30?

There I was laying in bed after just waking up from a day of drinking in Chicago celebrating St. Patricks Day. As Katie would say, I was feeling pretty asstastic. I could hear my stomach turning all the crap I had injested the day prior – a bagel, a lot of beer, a shot of patron, some fish and chips, and I think there was a Vodka and Red Bull, too. The feeling in my stomach this morning was all the more reason to get up, figure out a new strategy, and get my butt to the grocery store.

Some would call it an excessive intervention, but I’ve gone off the deep end. Ever feel like that….when you’ve drank for two weekends straight and although you made some good food choices during the week between, it still doesn’t matter because all the drinking ruined it? Well, that’s what did it for me.

When I first heard about the Whole 30 Challenge, I actually didn’t even want to really listen to my best friend who was doing it. I too though it was extreme. How could I give up sugar? And grains? And not have a glass of wine on Tuesday night, which was what the bf and I did every Tuesday night? It wasn’t possible. Three months ago, there wasn’t a way for me to do it.


Whole 30 Challenge

But since then, I have heard what great success my friends have had. And while they’ve lost weight, it’s not just that. Their digestive system isn’t all ridiculous after eating pizza and birthday cake (my last supper tonight, at my cousin’s birthday party). My friends haven’t had that lethargic feeling at 2:30 after your lunch consisted of a sandwich from Jimmy Johns, a yogurt, and a Diet Coke.  (and, if we're being honest, a cookie.) My friends who have already done a round or two of the Whole 30 Challenge have even had people tell them that they’ve noticed their hair was shinier, their skin clearer, and their nails (I know, someone noticed Katie’s nails!) looked great! And the best one, and actually, LeeAnn, when I read this the other day, I was thinking, "I'm so in," was when Cat told you that you were getting too skinny. I was giddy at the thought!


And aside from their good results from the Whole 30, I've also been considering what one of my cousins believes - that food is medicine for your body. She feeds her baby the cleanest foods and she and her husband follow along too. Sure, they have some cheese here and there, but they look good because they treat their bodies well. Was definitely food for thought.

I was hearing all this feedback from friends and beginning to be curious about this Whole 30, so I start reading their website and their blogs. And then I just recently followed them on Facebook where there are a whole community of crazy people just like me (and Katie and LeeAnn) who want to see exactly what will happen if they eliminate sugar, dairy, grains, alcohol, and yes, even legumes from their diet for a month.

Put all that together with two weekends of binge drinking and now I’m ready. Even though I’ll be in Florida with my family for a week of the time, it doesn’t matter, because I’m ready now. I have no desire to have a glass of wine with my mom and sister or sip a Margarita on the beach.

I really just want my body to feel better, and if as a side effect I lose a few pounds, that would be awesome. The current plan is obviously not working at all. Well, really, there is no current plan.

Do I think I can or will live the rest of my life according to this Whole 30 Challenge? Absolutely not....that's why it's just a challenge. But I can at least detox my system enough so that when I do decide to have pizza again, my body will tell me why I should steer clear. Will I ever eat a cupcake again? For sure. But, for the next 30 days, it's not an option.